I don't support rapists by laughing with them.

Apparently it still needs to be said.

Rape jokes are not funny.

Some of you may agree wholeheartedly with that statement.


Some may be on the fence, leaving more room for context and execution, etc.

Some of you may think that all rape jokes ever are funny.

To be frank, this is  your right. You are entitled to think any thing at all out there ever is funny. No government entity is going to break into your living room/ bedroom/ mother's basement and disappear you because you find rape jokes to be funny. Nor am I advocating that we change the laws so this can and will happen.

Nope, I do not at all intend to infringe upon your rights to independent thought and to find humour anywhere you like.

When you make rape jokes, I will think of you as a potential rapist. Or, I will assume that you are just not a safe person to be around and will not trust you any further than I can throw you. Because, if you're making rape jokes, or falling off your seat laughing at a rape joke, then I can only assume that you will not help me if I am or someone I love is being or have been sexually attacked, and I cannot trust you to not support the rapist.

If you are making or laughing at rape jokes, you are identifying with the rapist. You are agreeing that, "Heck, not only is rape not a big deal, but it's funny and something I can derrive pleasure out of at least in the form of humour."

I might not even let you know that this is what I'm thinking at the time. You might go on, giggle-snorting to yourself, completely and blissfully unawares that my stone silence and dead-eyed, slack-jawed response means that you've dropped from my "people I trust and look up to"-list to my "people I will avoid because they are not safe"-list.

It is physically safer for me to assume you're a potential rapist if you're giving me signals that you're a rapist or are ok with rapists. Because if you are a rapist or a rape apologist and I'm attacked, misplacing my trust in you could have serious and tangible consequences for me.

If you think that it is more offensive that I would mistrust someone and view them as a potential rapist because they made a rape joke than for someone to have made the rape joke, then you are not worth my trust, either.

Comments

  1. Yes, but what about the encouragement it gives to other rapists. Should that not be stopped?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, always, in as many ways as we can muster:

      http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.ca/2012/09/what-can-i-do-right-now-today-to-help.html

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  2. Seriously...because laughing at a racially insensitive joke makes you a racist. Something can be both inappropriate and funny.

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    Replies
    1. Laughing at a racially insensitive joke probably does make you a racist. We're raised in an extremely problematic and racist culture, so a lot of stuff we don't necessarily recognize as being fucked up IS actually fucked up.

      Can something be inappropriate and funny? Sure. But that usually requires more talent and tact than most people are willing are able to put in to make it work.

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    2. Is not the same, because there is no physical harm implied in a racially insensitive joke, is like all the insensitive jokes ppl make on blond girls implying they are dumb, agree those jokes lack imagination and even humor BUT rape jokes, that is the lowest of the low, the rape girls received real damage only because they are girls and some loser piece of shit asshole think that can be funny, how come? I have seeing raped girls with their jaw broken, their back broken and some others with permanent physical damage after a rape...what a huge losers men can be, it amaze me, but I get all those jokes are just an undercover way rapist tell you who they are. thank u so much 4 writing this, some men and women try to make us feel guilty for standing our ground.

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  3. I'm not offended by the fact that you don't trust anyone who makes rape jokes. I just consider it a bit over the top. But maybe that's because I am a man and have less of a chance of being raped.

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  4. I do agree with you, I am an amature stand up comedian myself and I am 1 of 4 women in a group of 40 locals. It's a rough spot to be in, and I am unfortunately not handling it very well ! There are a lot of rape jokes, rape-y jokes and also a lot of misogynism in stand up.My problem is,the other women just accept it! And that's why I think the boys think it's ok!

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  5. Replies
    1. I'm def not a fan of that article. I don't believe rape is ever a fitting punishment for anyone, and I feel like this Onion piece just buys into the notion that some people are "ok" to be raped. Like when people joke about prison rape as a chuckle-worthy phenomenon that only happens to bad people who deserve it, as opposed to a serious issue that indiscriminately affects a large portion of the population of people who have been incarcerated. Not funny, not ok, and imo contributes to rape culture just as much as Tosh's rape jokes.

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