Now, in this game, you are a white, able-bodied ciswoman. You have class privilege from growing with up two parents who are not rich but are solidly middle-class and in a healthy, non-abusive family environment. What luck!
Now, in this game, pick one of the two:
- a) date or have dated people who are not 100% respectful of you. b) only date people who are 100% respectful of you at all times.
- a) have had sexual contact outside of marriage b) are saving your viriginity for marriage
- a) don't have kids b) have kids
- a) are utilizing some form of birth control b) are not utilizing any form of birth control
- a) are conventionally attractive b) are not conventionally attractive
- a) are an atheist or agnostic b) practice a particular religion
- a) are married and your partner makes more money than you do b) are married and you make more than your partner does
- a) imbibe legal and government-regulated intoxicating substances b) do not partake of any intoxicating substances
- a) you're married b) you're not married
- a) you are not constantly thinking about your personal safety b) you are hyper-vigilant about your personal safety
- a) you are knowledgeable about rape myths, and take calculated risks b) you abide by every single "safety tip" just in case
In the interest of full-disclosure, I feel it's only fair to let you know it's all downhill from here.
- a) Women only date assholes because they like being abused! - minus 5 points!
b) Why don't you give him a chance? As if you're so perfect. - minus 10 points!
- a) You've had sex with how many people? You disgusting slut! - minus 20 points!
b) You're waiting for sex until marriage? What a prude. You're probably a dyke. - minus 8 points!
- a) You don't have kids because you're focussed on your career? What a sad, empty life you must lead. - minus 50 points!
b) You don't have a job because you stay at home with the kids? What a waste of potential. - minus B^2 points!
- a) You use birth control? You must be a slut. - minus (Pi)R ^2 points!
b) You didn't use birth control? You're such a stupid slut. - minus 100 points!
- a) You're so beautiful. You could get any guy, so you must be a slut. - minus 150 points!
b) You're so ugly. You must have to be a slut to get anyone to pay attention to you. - minus 42 points!
- a) You're an atheist? No wonder you have no morals. - minus 500 points!
b) You're a (insert religion here)? No wonder you're a mindless sheep. - minus the square root of infinity points!
- a) Your husband is rich? You must be shallow and just with him for the money. - minus 37 points!
b) You make more money than your husband? How immasculating. How does he put up with that? - minus 73 points!
- a) You like to drink booze? You're such a dirty lush. - minus 60proof points!
b) You're straight-edge? What an uptight bitch. - minus 100 percent points!
- a) You're married? How were you able to fool him into getting stuck with you? - minus calculus points!
b) You're not married? You musn't be good enough to get any man to want to stick with you. - minus a googleplex points!
- a) Don't be so naive and trusting! All men are rapists! - minus uber lots of points!
b) Why don't you trust men? You must hate them. - minus (GDP of Brazil) points!
- a) Don't go down dark alleys because you'll get raped! - minus a bazillionty points!
b) You never take chances. You're timid and pathetic. What do you think's gonna happen? The boogeyman gonna get you? - MINUS ALLLLL THE POINTS!!!!!!1!!1!1!!!ELEVENTY!1!!
This image isn't mine, I was linked to it on Tumbler after I wrote this blog post.
And, you lose! Yay! What a fun game! Now, let's play again, only now you're non-caucasian, disabled, LGBTTQQ, poor, etc. You lose even more! Stop playing because your losing is harshing my buzz!!!!!
Now, for something completely different (because I don't wanna play that game any more, either).
*CAUTION! THIS POST MAY HAVE BEEN OVERSATURATED WITH SARCASM!