"10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make that Ruin Any Chance For a Relationship"

Apparently that's the title of an ad that came up on Dictionary.com. I missed the ad itself and couldn't track it down and now feel like I'm missing out on some vital and life-changing information.

To correct this injustice, I'm going to take a crack at that list:
  1. Menstruating - ick! Lock that shit up, ladies
  2. Farting - sttoooooppppp!!!! BLARGHUGHJKH!!!!!
  3. Belching - what is this, a frat house? COME AWN!!!
  4. Drinking beer - leads to the above (although not sure about menstruating, but I'm sure it doesn't help)
  5. Wearing grannie panties - amirite, ladies? No man will ever love you if you dont' spend your days being sliced in two by ass floss
  6. Cellulite - if you truly loved your body and the mens, you wouldn't let this happen. It's just downright disrespectful.
  7. Pooping - this can be easily resolved by not consuming solids. Come on, ladies. Priorities!
  8. Getting fat - icky! See above
  9. Being hairy - shave everything below the hairline, including eyebrows. They can be pencilled back on, so what's the biggie? And don't let anyone touch you when you have stubble anywhere. That's just mean.
  10. Getting old - this is the most dastardly trick of all. No more luring men in when you're 20 and having the audacity to turn 30, ladies. It doesn't just make your face and body ugly, it makes your soul ugly.
There. I hope I've improve your lives by dropping this knowledge on y'all.


  1. Hilarity ! How about 5 questions a woman should never expect an honest answer from a man...

  2. That's just vain, you expect a perfect plastic barbie. If you expect perfection be willing to be perfect also. Don't poop don't fart don't cough don't sneeze don't sweat don't have a double chin don't have a hairy chest shave all your pubes make sure you shave your legs shave your ass don't even get any pimples. Oh yeah and don't even breathe because too much of that leads to ageing also. OK I'm out.


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