Take THAT, 2011

As twenty-eleven winds down, I am pretty darned impressed with myself.

Sure, my credit cards are overdrawn and my credit has been spiralling into the crapper for about two years now. Sure, I've missed some opportunities for work because of self-doubt in my technical abilities and anxiety about striking out as a private contractor and a general lack of confidence. Sure, I'm still not vegan and I don't recycle or compost as much as I used to or as much as I should. Sure, I've owed my parents money for over a year that I haven't been able to pay back and that eats me up for not being able to meet my financial obligation to them. Sure, I haven't resumed volunteering on any rape crisis lines.

BUT...

• When I go back to work on Tuesday I'll be full-time with a considerable raise and benefits starting immediately
• I've gotten 2 industry certifications this year that I self-studied for and whose passing grades were rather steep
• I've seen my sister and nieces more than I have for a few years
• I've been reading more and that's something that's been languishing on my resolution lists for the past few years
• I've got 7 healthy pets that are lucky to have me and my partner as furmamas.
• I understand poverty a hell of a lot better than I ever did, and I think I'm privileged enough that this experience and knowledge will only benefit me in the future
• I've been more vocal in standing up for myself and asserting what I want and need and demand (see first bullet about the job - it's only because I negotiated these demands that I'm actually getting them)
• I've gotten a lot better at my job than I was even when I started back at the beginning of June
• I've been to several marches and rallies this year, and have just been activistical in other ways than in the past, such as with the Metrobus Strike and Slutwalk
• Of all the regrets I have from this past year, none of them outshine my pride in my accomplishments

I am lucky to say that 2011 has been good to me and that I am looking forward to 2012 being even better. These past few years AD (after-divorce) have allowed me to fling myself off of high cliffs and have the luxury of experiencing the resounding splat when I hit bottom. But at least it was my bottom, on my terms. And all the progress I've made dragging my cumbersome sack of bones back up has been mine. I've been allowed to fail, and I have, and it sucked, but I'm so glad for it.

I am so full of pride in my accomplishments. I'm not going to negate that statement with some hollow uttering of humility. I'm not going to apologize for being proud of myself, as I would have once done. I am proud of myself.

Golly, it feels good to have gotten to this point.

Next post will be a book review on The Girls of Planet 5. Because, omfg, that's why.

Happy New Year's Eve!