tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7649743770602714322024-02-18T22:26:32.681-05:00Damsel in de TechChronicling the life and times of a white woman working in IT, whilst being a feministicalogical, vegetarian, compassionate, political, nerdy, animal-loving, hilarious dyke. Because life doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's all relevant.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-55072094434127205382018-06-20T17:24:00.004-04:002018-06-21T13:42:59.378-04:00What can I as an individual do in the face of a world on fireFolks, everything is terrifying and awful. I don't even have it in me to list all the things that are happening that fill me with horror. This post isn't going to make you feel warm and fuzzy and isn't going to single-handedly fix any of the horrors.<br />
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I am not a person of influence and prestige. I don't have politicians in my back pocket or an unlimited discretionary spending budget to throw at the problems. I imagine no one reading this has those either.<br />
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But, what I'm going to offer, is a collection of small tasks we as individuals are largely capable of. If you know of more than you feel could be useful, please let me know and I can update this post to add them. Please share this where you can.<br />
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Marches and events coming up in Toronto:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.blogger.com/">RIP Toronto Pride 1981-2018<span id="goog_1258999145"></span></a> - June 21</li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/258323198068408/">Trans Pride March 2018</a> - June 22</li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/2084514108460100/">Shut it, Uncle Bob: Dealing with Racist Colleagues and Loved Ones</a> - June 27</li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/161435594715049/">Families Belong Together Rally - Toronto</a> - June 30</li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/2088820987998159/">People's Rally on Queen's Park</a> - July 14</li>
</ul>
Canada-related stuffs:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DGyDVOWgnSz9WTT7THQ5hODWxKm45OX0-xhZbCVqoWg/edit?usp=sharing">Canadian sample letter to politicans re: USian immigration separation policy</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ourcommons.ca/Parliamentarians/en/members">Current Members of Parliament</a></li>
</ul>
USian related action items:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.raicestexas.org/#donate">Fundraiser - The Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services (RAICES)</a></li>
<li><a href="https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/greyhound_borderpatrol">Petition - Tell Greyhound to Stop Aiding Trump's Deportation Machine!</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.thecut.com/2018/06/how-to-help-fight-family-separation-policy-immigration-trump.html">What You Can Do Right Now to Help Immigrant Families Separated at the Border</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.texastribune.org/2018/06/18/heres-list-organizations-are-mobilizing-help-separated-immigrant-child/">Here’s a list of organizations that are mobilizing to help immigrant children separated from their families</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/anewppc">Protest Events - Poor People's Campaign: A National Call for Moral Revival</a></li>
<li><a href="https://archive.fo/lfh98#selection-11.0-11.35">People on LinkedIn who work for ICE</a></li>
<li><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/16Z04gxhORlgmS5sDhnX_ryDfSF8T2a6AwZWV1PMY-H8/mobilebasic">Companies profiting from the child detention centers</a></li>
</ul>
General action items:<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.restforresistance.com/">QTPoC Mental Health - Rest for Resistance</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.racetonowhere.com/sites/default/files/SampleAdvocacyLetters_0.pdf">Sample Advocacy Letters</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.pride.com/sex/2018/5/02/7-ways-support-sex-workers-wake-fosta-sesta-0#media-gallery-media-0">7 Ways to Support Sex Workers in the Wake of FOSTA-SESTA</a></li>
<li><a href="https://jacobinmag.com/2018/06/strike-collective-action-work-to-rule">There's More Than One Way To Strike The Boss</a></li>
</ul>
What can you do for your loved ones who are struggling:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Listen to them.</b> Either strike up a conversation online or offer to meet them someplace. These horrors feel isolating, especially since so many ways they're manifesting is by attacking folks' ability to financially support themselves, so taking someone out for a coffee or a meal may be a good way to support them at least temporarily in that moment.</li>
<li><b>Stand up for them.</b> So much of the shit that we're facing involves people being dehumanized and having violence (physical, emotional, or economic) promoted against them. If you see or hear someone talking shit to them directly, or about folks in general under their umbrella of oppression, say something. Speak up. Don't just awkwardly smile and nod and then tell your friend in confidence you're on their side. Prove it. Make it uncomfortable for bigots by actually challenging them on their shit. Put your neck out there for them.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Send them money. </b>Seriously, so many folks are struggling to make ends meet. Do you have a bit of extra cash you can part with? What friends of yours have Patreon accounts, GoFundMes, or are selling products or services? Tbh I hate pyramid schemes so I think it would be more valuable to send your pal $20 straight up than to buy a pair of legging you don't want, but maybe they create art you've had your eye on.</li>
<li><b>Promote their ways of supporting themselves.</b> Share those Patreon, GoFundMe, Etsy shop, event page notices. Show them support by increasing their audience, even if you're unable to support with your pocketbook or your attendance. (Speaking of which, <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cu-s_77gTabSdlHPzh0BAnn6rowWIyon2Xj2E8Kn5Cs/edit?usp=sharing">here's a Google doc</a> with a couple artist Patreon accounts that I know).</li>
<li><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">Take care of yourself. Your friends and family need you. Your community needs you. You are important, and your existence is important. Stay with us, and take care.</span></li>
</ul>
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-58312931415159879852018-05-31T13:47:00.001-04:002018-05-31T13:47:33.164-04:00Ontario Provincial Election 2018 - for the love of all things good and holy, please voteI'm not going to sugar coat things here. For a lot of people, things are extremely scary and bleak right now. Just yesterday I <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2018/05/day-in-life-of-canadian-sex-worker-post.html">wrote </a>about some of the barriers facing folks who have been relying on sex work to get by. It's gotten worse today - one of the main sites being used is only accepting Bitcoin as payment, and users have to pay upfront a minimum of $85CAD (based on current USD conversion rates) to be able to place ads.<br />
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"So get a 'real' job," you might say if you're an asshole and didn't actually read anything I wrote about the employment barriers. Minimum wage is $14 in Ontario right now, and set to raise to $15 in 2019. If the PC party takes over, they want to cancel that increase and freeze minimum wage again.<br />
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According to PadMapper, the average STUDIO apartment in Toronto is renting out for $1573, one bedrooms are $2125, and 2 bedrooms are $2800.<br />
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If you are making $14/hr for 37.5 hours a week, you're making $525 before taxes. That means, based on minimum wage, you cannot afford a studio apartment working full-time, or even to split a 2 bedroom apartment with just two people. And Ford wants to roll back rent control. <br />
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This election is a big deal. The decisions made by the party who gains (or retains) power next week will have immediate and long-term consequences. We cannot afford to be idle or even cynical. We have seen firsthand what ideologues without a moral compass can do to the most vulnerable citizens.<br />
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Right now the <a href="https://newsinteractives.cbc.ca/onvotes/poll-tracker/">CBCs polls </a>project the NDP will get the most votes, but because of our broken, stupid, archaic First-Past-The-Post system, they are predicting the Conservatives will gain a majority. We cannot let this come to pass. I will not accept that as an option.<br />
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To see what parties are saying about the issues, Macleans has published a breakdown of each parties' platforms <a href="https://www.macleans.ca/politics/ontario-election-2018-party-platforms/">here</a>.<br />
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Random guy on the internet, Christopher Bird, has laid out compelling reasons to please, for the love of gods, not vote for Ford <a href="https://www.facebook.com/christopher.bird.90/posts/10156255939368913">here</a>.<br />
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The PCs state flat out they're not going to reveal the costs of their platform before the election <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ford-pcs-platform-cost-fiscal-1.4684590">here</a>.<br />
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And an article stating the youth vote is needed to secure an NDP win is <a href="https://www.thestar.com/news/queenspark/2018/05/28/for-victory-ndp-needs-young-supporters-to-ride-the-orange-wave-to-election-polls-expert-say.html">here</a>.<br />
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I'm not going to pretend to be unbiased. I am absolutely biased. I want the NDP to win. As a province, I want us to be lead by a party that has a sense of humanity and community and wants to see the most vulnerable of us succeed.<br />
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On June 7th I'm going to be voting for the NDP, and I beg of you, all of you, to get out and vote and do the same. We're all in this together.<br />
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<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-70725295728621152572018-05-30T13:17:00.000-04:002018-05-30T16:19:27.146-04:00Day in the life of a Canadian sex worker* post FOSTA/ SESTA<span style="color: #999999;">*This is based on conversations I've had with sex workers, so if I've gotten details wrong I'm open to being corrected</span><br />
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A lot of very intelligent people have written at length about FOSTA/ SESTA and the repercussions these bills are having in the US. This is very valuable information, and doesn't need to be reworded again by me so I've added links at the bottom to some of the ones I've read that I think provide a solid background for folks who are unfamiliar.<br />
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What I haven't read as much on is a tangible breakdown of what the repercussions of these bills looks like in Canada. Why would it affect Canadians, you ask? Because of how far-reaching these bills are, any services that are hosted in the U.S. that are suspected of being used to aid in "sex trafficking" can be (and have been) raided by the FBI. <i>Notice all those "We've updated our Terms of Service" notices? It's because all these companies, no matter if they sell shoes or cupcakes or host cat pictures, etc, all are scrambling to protect themselves.**</i><br />
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<i>**EDIT: A much larger global influence looks like it may be GDPR. FOSTA/SESTA just happens to be happening concurrently and affecting sites like Reddit & Instagram - see <a href="https://www.popsci.com/gdpr-privacy-policy-update-notices">here</a> for more info</i></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/versacelabismalva/"><img border="0" data-original-height="562" data-original-width="1296" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1nnlS3SW7OD8bHz51hWfcHQveexS0ZL3VATvidRP9JT7qNZPqwccD71MXGwPwPOW_omti9HoTmoo7BjiFwJnHaXpQW4g1paimQ5ex6gOX2P8mTkDdCiNG_qCDAyxwRcc7pLrJrtfibBs/s320/Versace-Insta.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;">Former sex worker/current burlesque dancer and activist Versace La Bismalva has had enough of Instagram's bullshit.</span></div>
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Being a sex worker in the city can be effectively like running a business. At the start of your day, you pop online and either put up online ads or check to see if you've gotten responses from ads you've already paid for. One of the first consequences of FOSTA/ SESTA was that websites where a lot of sex workers were able to vet their clients were shut down. Not just American sites, but also Canadian ones, such as Backpage.ca, where SWs were able to connect with clients based on geography. With those sites you've also lost the list of blacklisted clients who are dangerous that sex workers have warned each other to avoid.<br />
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Now, not only are you without a safer way to vet your clients, but you're out the money you've put down on ads already because there's no way to get a refund. Some new sites have popped up, but it's a crapshoot trying to figure out the best of lesser options. Some sites have since jacked their prices, none of the sites have the same traffic as the ones that were taken down so advertising doesn't have the same ROI, and because of financial institutions shutting down bank accounts of suspected "sex traffickers" some are only accepting Bitcoin. So now on top of researching what sites are available to be used, you're also trying to study up on Bitcoin and its costs and how to use it.<br />
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Let's say that you want to avoid the stress of going online every day to see if your means of advertising has been removed. One option includes trying to find work with a strip club, which requires licensing (a big barrier for many in terms of time and expense), and the competition has increased massively due to the fact that you're not nearly the only one looking at that as an option.<br />
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You can also try connecting with an agency, but the competition is still a factor, on top of you now not having control over who your clients are, what you charge, what services you offer, how many clients you book in a shift, or whether you're allowed to enforce protection. On top of all that lack of control, the agency is taking between 30-50% of your earnings, and charging less than what you were when you were able to work on your own. So you're taking on more clients in a day, with less safety and boundaries, for less money. That's before even taking into account the fact that if you're trans, a WOC, disabled, or basically anything but a slim, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, white woman with DD's, you aren't likely to be able to get in with either a strip club or an agency in any case.<br />
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Because of those and other barriers, a lot of folks who previously were able to work from home to vet and attract clients have been forced to turn to street work, which is far more risky in terms of being assaulted or arrested. It's no coincidence that there has been an uptick in violence against sex workers immediately after websites like Craigslist therapeutic and Backpage were taken down. Predators are aware that sex workers have had tools they've used to stay safe removed and are afraid to go to the police. None of this is keeping people engaged in this work any safer.<br />
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Some people think all that is a good thing, and assume that removing ways for sex workers to work safely means that they will instead get "traditional" work. If you've been paying your bills this way, you have no paper trail you can put on resume. As creative as resume-building workshops can be in helping to list soft skills to cover up for gaps in experience, there aren't a lot of career advisors out there that can help someone make this kind of background look like they've been working for Avon.<br />
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Keep in mind as well that so many folks are just living paycheque to paycheque. When your main or only source of income is suddenly gone overnight, you don't have time to wait the several weeks or months of job hunting, plus the three weeks to a month before you get your first pay cheque. You need to make rent and get food today. When your safe avenues of making that happen are removed, often you're forced to make unsafe decisions in order to make ends meet.<br />
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And going back to the fact that it is more difficult for many folks to find stable, and fair-paying employment, there are few "legitimate jobs" that will offer the same schedule flexibility, income potential, and accessibility. Trans women, for example, have far <a href="https://www.thestar.com/business/2011/05/27/transgendered_ontarians_struggling_with_jobs_and_equality_at_work.html">higher unemployment rates</a> and face more <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/transgender-unemployed-business-jobs-discrimination-1.3740571">employment discrimination</a> than the general population. For many folks, sex work has been their way to be financially independent and in control of their work.<br />
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Now, you may read all of that and think, "I still think sex work is bad." Well, good for you. Don't do it, then. But know that if you're supporting legislation that criminalizes sex work and sex acts between consenting adults, you are actively hurting people and that makes you a piece of shit. <3<br />
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<a href="https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/bjpqvz/fosta-sesta-sex-work-and-trafficking">Pimps Are Preying on Sex Workers Pushed Off the Web Because of FOSTA-SESTA</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20180509/13450339810/police-realizing-that-sesta-fosta-made-their-jobs-harder-sex-traffickers-realizing-made-their-job-easier.shtml">Police Realizing That SESTA/FOSTA Made Their Jobs Harder; Sex Traffickers Realizing It's Made Their Job Easier</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20180420/00403839680/fosta-sesta-was-passed-based-made-up-stats-about-sex-trafficking.shtml">FOSTA/SESTA Was Passed Based On Made Up Stats About Sex Trafficking</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/sesta-fosta-forces-sex-trafficking-victims-streets-dark-web-w520720">Anti-Sex-Trafficking Advocates Say New Law Cripples Efforts to Save Victims</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.privateinternetaccess.com/blog/2018/05/fosta-sesta-is-now-law-where-does-that-leave-the-internet/">FOSTA-SESTA is now law—where does that leave the Internet?</a><br />
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<a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sex-workers-sesta-fosta_us_5ad0d7d0e4b0edca2cb964d9">‘This Bill Is Killing Us’: 9 Sex Workers On Their Lives In The Wake Of FOSTA</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.citypages.com/news/how-congress-attempt-to-rescue-sex-workers-threatens-their-safety-instead/482720031">How Congress' attempt to rescue sex workers threatens their safety instead</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.therainbowtimesmass.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-fosta-sesta-and-how-it-affects-all-of-us/">What you need to know about FOSTA-SESTA and how it affects all of us</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.theverge.com/2018/5/16/17360458/anti-sex-trafficking-law-fosta-sex-work-education-oschool">ANTI-SEX TRAFFICKING LAW FOSTA IS HURTING ONLINE SEX EDUCATORS, TOO</a></div>
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<a href="http://pacificcenter.org/how-sesta-fosta-is-going-to-affect-us-all">How SESTA/FOSTA Is Going To Affect Us All</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.pride.com/sex/2018/5/02/7-ways-support-sex-workers-wake-fosta-sesta-0">7 Ways to Support Sex Workers in the Wake of FOSTA-SESTA</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.lifepreserversproject.org/2018/05/01/fosta-sesta-threatens-internet-freedom/">FOSTA-SESTA Threatens Internet Freedom</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/human-trafficking-banking-bill-sex-workers_us_5b045577e4b0740c25e5efd1">First Congress Took Sex Workers’ Websites. Now It's Coming For Their Bank Accounts.</a></div>
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-35721159413698197632017-09-01T13:37:00.002-04:002017-09-01T13:38:27.103-04:0040th Annual 3-Day Novel Contest starts tonight at midnight!I've been pretty mum about participating in this year's <a href="http://www.3daynovel.com/">3-Day Novel Contest</a> here, but have been ramping up my excitement on my personal Facebook account and talking the ears off of anyone who will listen about my plans for this weekend. To my mind, I've been pretty chill about it with good reason. The last time I formally attempted to participate was in 2012 and... well... <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.ca/2012/09/3-day-novel-contest-2012-failing-like.html">I failed like a boss.</a> Every intervening year I was working or just for some reason unable to dedicate a long weekend to diving back in.<br />
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As of yesterday I've actually paid the entrance fee and for the past couple weeks I've been building a story outline and making a half-dozen To Do Lists in preparation:<br />
<ul>
<li>Make a food plan - CHECK</li>
<li>Buy what foods I don't already have at home - IN PROGRESS</li>
<li>Chop and prepare fruit - NOT YET</li>
<li>Write out rough plot outline - KIND OF</li>
<li>Stop overthinking - OVER MY DEAD BODY</li>
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Checking the time, I've got just under 10 1/2 hours until midnight and I hurl myself face-first into this contest and see what I'm able to accomplish this year.<br />
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If you're interested in trying to write your own novel in 72 hours, you can find more information about the contest on their <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/1565488120162528/?__xt__=33.%7B%22logging_data%22%3A%7B%22profile_id%22%3A1565488120162528%2C%22event_type%22%3A%22clicked_view_profile%22%2C%22impression_info%22%3A%22eyJmIjp7InN0eWxlIjoiMzUiLCJwYWdlX2lkIjoiMTI0ODQ4Mjc3NTM3MzcyIiwicmVxdWVzdF9pZCI6Ik1UQXdNREEwT0RBNE9EWTNNRFkzTFRBdU16UTFNelV4TURBZ01UVXdOREk0TmpJNU15MHpOamc0T1RZeU56QT0ifX0%22%2C%22surface%22%3A%22www_pages_home%22%2C%22interacted_story_type%22%3A%22509240112603598%22%2C%22session_id%22%3A%226fb6249b908f32354868835eea2082b5%22%7D%7D">Facebook event page</a>, or their <a href="http://www.3daynovel.com/faq/">website</a>. I'm also going to following their <a href="https://twitter.com/@3daynovel/">Twitter </a>over the weekend for updates and writing prompts.<br />
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Wish me luck.</div>
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-28445089565994216672017-08-02T09:14:00.000-04:002017-08-02T09:18:49.463-04:00A love letter to myselfFirst of all, asshole, cut yourself some slack. You don't need to be first in line to tear yourself down. Please trust those who are important to you to be honest with you. You have done a thorough job of culling the people from your inner circle who do not value you, who take and never give, and who generally seem ambivalent about your continued existence.<br />
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You are good people and the folks you've kept around recognize that because you've been putting effort in to making sure they know you love them. Trust them to love you back. Trust them to support you when your brain is on fire. Trust them to offer kindness and soft places to land when your mental health and circumstances have you rolling around on broken glass.<br />
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It's ok if they disappoint you. It's ok if they're not psychic or don't have the immediate, innate, ingrained, or practiced skills to support you in just the way you want. Give them more to work with. Let them try again. Let them be human and don't let their inexperience with support be proof that you do not deserve and will never receive the support you want. Not getting it and not asking for it hurts either way. Ask for it. Keep asking. It's ok. These are the people you are close to. If they are unable to provide it, trust them to tell you. And if you can't verbalize all that you want, and feel disappointed in the results because they're not psychic, remember to have compassion. For them for not knowing this path. For yourself for continuing to seek it out.<br />
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You are on a terrifying path of loving and allowing yourself to be loved. Of truly, actually being vulnerable and sincere. This is a brave path to take. It's ok to acknowledge your own courage. It's ok to be open about the fact that this kind of love is scary and challenging and requires a lot of effort. It takes nothing away from the results to honour those pains. It's a sign of your own growth and maturity that you aren't try to hide your struggles out of misplaced shame or humility. Take pride in making conscious efforts to make the folks you love feel good about themselves. Take pride in moving just far enough beyond your insecurities to let people love you.<br />
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You are in this with yourself forever. Practice the love and compassion you project and be gentler with yourself.<br />
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<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-75190731511334500702017-07-29T15:58:00.002-04:002017-08-02T09:51:17.617-04:00Rambling thoughts of the part-time femme*insert obligatory acknowledgment I haven't posted in a while because of life and navigating capitalism and such*<br />
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I've been working in IT for about 8.5 years since I graduated college. I really enjoy the work, I enjoy the nerdery of it, I enjoy the challenge, and I enjoy upgrading my skills to advance my career. </div>
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The part that I'm not so keen on is the sexism. I'm not thrilled that the most likely reason I never got a chance to get into network cabling because the owner wasn't comfortable with setting me up in a hotel room with his other male workers during out-of-town, overnight installations. I courted the owner and that job, and he was very impressed with my eagerness and skills, but it never went anywhere. </div>
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I'm not thrilled with answering the phone and saying, "IT department," and men assuming I'm the secretary and not the person who is going to be resolving their issue. Or with those same men making a joke about how their wives might balk at them getting help from a woman. I could really do without that ever having happened.</div>
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One of the things I can safely say I'm the least fond of is showing up to my work Christmas party with my wife (then-fiance), all femmed up and looking hot, and having every single head turn to watch us. Fine, looking as hot as I do in a tight dress and stiletto heels I'm probably going to get some attention. But to have eyes on me and my wife the whole night? That's sincerely uncomfortable. And having a drunken coworker hug me and try to pull me onto his lap so he could kiss me? Those memories just make me want go back and set the place on fire.</div>
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To avoid those kinds of micro aggressions (and straight-up sexually aggressive bullshit), I've made the conscious choice to dress mostly masc. I've kept my hair relatively short, I've dressed in slacks and often shapeless dress shirts with sports bras, and I haven't worn makeup to work. To my mind, I've been doing this to try to fade into the background and be treated like "One of the guys" (especially since I can count on one hand how many women I've worked with directly) and only get attention for my work and not my appearance.</div>
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Now, closing in on a decade in this profession, I've found myself working with a crew that I trust and feel comfortable with. I've made the conscious choice to give myself the freedom to mix it up and dress femme some days. To grow out my hair into a femme hairstyle. To actually wear makeup to the office, outside of the annual Christmas party. To wear more form-fitting, yet still office-appropriate outfits. It actually feels really good. </div>
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And I realize how fortunate I am to be able to turn this off and on and be able to navigate my work environment in this way. I'm a white, cis woman with an average frame and don't have large breasts, and, while I think I'm a solid average-5, I do benefit from having conventionally attractive features. I blend, is what I'm trying to say. There are so many folks who have a lot more points of oppression who are unable to navigate others' prejudices the way I have.</div>
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Yet, it's kind of proving to be a mindfuck at the same time. The attractiveness standards for being dapper and handsome are far different from the ones for being considered beautiful. I can throw a vest on over a dress shirt and make sure my hair isn't awful, and BAM! I'm dapper. I can make a queer person weak at the knees at a hundred yards. But femme takes work. Traditional femme, in any case. To my mind, for myself and without applying these stupid and arbitrary standards to anyone else, femme requires eyebrow maintenance, shaving, makeup, bras that may or may not dig into my ribs and shoulders, and hair that behaves and is neatly coiffed. Wanting to be read as femme has come with wanting to be considered beautiful and not just "cute". To be frank, it's probably some male-gaze bullshit I'm navigating, yet it's still there and it's loud.</div>
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It's complicated. My feelings about it kind of all over the map right now. I'm thankful I'm in a place where I can figure this stuff out, but at the same time wondering if it's worth it and maybe I should just go back to focusing on being a dapper queer. Except that's not all I am. I <i>love</i> being dapper and debonair. But sticking to that is only half of what I am. </div>
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One thing has helped. It has helped to look to the other folks in my life who are non-binary or gender-queer, or who generally just run the gamut between the extremes of masc and femme and everywhere in between. I see them and I think, "Wow. They are so cute/ glam/ stunning/ beautiful/ powerful when wearing makeup, and are also unbelievably precious when they don't. I adore their goddamn faces either way, and they very likely feel the same way about me." It's a conscious effort for me to try to see myself through other folks' eyes because I recognize most of us are usually much more accepting and compassionate to others than we are to ourselves. </div>
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I think I'm just going to have to keep going where the spirit takes me and let my insecurities take care of themselves. Wish me luck.<br />
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-43709329194376742402016-11-09T11:15:00.000-05:002016-11-09T11:15:29.652-05:00This isn't sour grapesThe typical response I've heard after many elections (local, provincial, federal, and most recently the US presidential) is that the folks who "lost" should just suck it up and move on. That any "whining" at this part is just sour grapes and being a poor loser. I could not disagree more.<br />
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The US presidential election is a big one, because the new president makes decisions that will have impacts that last generations. On top of having an unhinged, sexist, racist garbage fire as the head of state, he will be backed by majorities of Republicans in every single major house there is (congress, senate, etc.) He will also have the power to appointment the replacements for the current and upcoming empty seats in the Supreme Court. This could have devastating impacts on Roe v. Wade, Standing Rock, marriage equality, LGBT rights, and a slew of other important issues.<br />
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This is not a case where our bff lost her campaign to become student council president. This is not a case where both sides were pretty similar and the end results would only differ slightly based on who won. The new president will have a global impact, and from all appearances this impact is going to be devastating and long lasting.<br />
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Good luck to all my American friends. I do not envy the challenges you're going to be facing, but I will do everything in my limited power to support you.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-4406670864939184062015-08-26T16:55:00.000-04:002015-08-26T17:00:00.934-04:00So... now what?Well, gosh, this year has been a whirlwind. Changed jobs, bought a house and settled down more permanently than I have in 10 years, made new friends, and my life in general looks a million times differently than it did even last fall.<br />
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Most of it has been overwhelmingly positive. I am able to work from home, and I know we'll be calling this place home for many years to come. All of our animals are able to live under our roof with us again after having to find alternate arrangements for them last year. We're making a good combined income that is allowing us to gradually pay stuff off and do stuff like go visit family and friends (within driving distance).<br />
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We're doing well. So well, in fact, that I'm feeling uninspired in my writing. I've been cooking up a storm (I have an adorable anecdote about learning how to make eggs Benedict by watching Julia Child on Youtube while also referring to the Julia Child cookbook and having Julie & Julia playing in the background in the living room), so I might try my hand at the food blogging again. The 3 Day Novel Contest is in less than a week and a half, so I might join that again. I wonder if anyone has submitted a cookbook?<br />
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If anyone out there is wondering if I've fallen off the face of the earth, all I can say is "Yes, and it's been super. Thanks for asking."<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #999999;">Yes, I'm done talking now. Jeez. <i>RUDE</i>.</span></span></div>
damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-47562649891613732232015-05-27T20:42:00.001-04:002015-05-27T20:42:27.649-04:00SlutWalk 2015 - Where can we go from here?I've been a supporter and follower of the SlutWalks from the get-go, and I am honestly really excited about the changes that some of the cities have gone through. It's no secret that the term "slut" being in the name doesn't sit well with everyone, and that there have been some <a href="http://www.blackwomensblueprint.org/2011/09/23/an-open-letter-from-black-women-to-the-slutwalk/">very valid criticisms</a> of the name by black feminists. In fact, some cities started off organizing with different names to stand in solidarity with the spirit of SlutWalk while not under the 'slut' label, such as <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/olyh20/">ConsentFest</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/LondonsSolidaritySlutWalk?fref=ts">Solidarity Walk</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SafeWalkAWalkOfNoShame?fref=ts">SafeWalk: A Walk of No Shame</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/walkforrespect">Walk For Respect</a>, to name just a few.<br />
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Two cities that have previously organized under the SlutWalk label are Boston and Chicago. In 2012 the Boston organizers changed their name to <a href="https://bostonfeministsforliberation.wordpress.com/">Boston Feminists for Liberation</a>, and just this year some of the Chicago SlutWalk organizers have started a group called <a href="https://www.facebook.com/chicagofurie/timeline">FURIE - Feminist Uprising to Resist Inequality and Exploitation</a>.<br />
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I love it. I love it I love it I love it.<br />
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As much as I was excited for SlutWalks when they first started because of the new conversations they were inspiring about victim-blaming and misogyny, I am so ready for and stoked about these new phases. I love the radical brazenness of them. I love how they simultaneously speak to some of the specific concerns women of colour have had about the word 'slut', but also give a big middle-finger to the misogynists who troll SlutWalk pages.<br />
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<i style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;">Not gonna lie - the name SlutWalk will always have </span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666;">a special place in my heart for its fuck-you attitude.</span></i></div>
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I would be over the moon if all the towns and cities that are organizing currently under the SlutWalk label changed their names to radical (in the badass-sense, not in the SWERFy or TERFy sense) feminist ass-kickers. Not because I don't support those who ID as sluts, or who have been called misogynistic slurs, or victim-blamed because of their sexual histories or attire, or for the respectability politics of playing nice. But simply because SlutWalk was never intended to be a worldwide movement and so it wasn't created with longevity in mind.<br />
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There is a new way forward, and I think the Boston Feminists for Liberation and FURIE are that way.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-40502876032958463502014-12-27T12:06:00.002-05:002014-12-27T12:14:53.667-05:00Facebook is bullshit, but nevermind that because it's New Year's Resolution TimeI am presently the proud(?) owner of two Facebook profiles because a couple weeks ago I told someone off and they reported my profile name as fake. That resulted in Facebook unceremoniously disabling my account and effectively zotting every interaction I've ever had under that profile into the abyss. I wasn't sure if I my attempts to send them proof of identity were going to be successful in resurrecting the account, and my 8 years worth of photos.<br />
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Nevermind that I originally took on a nickname on Facebook when I was going through a separation and divorce in 2007/2008. Nevermind that I decided to keep my pseudonym when I started receiving rape and death threats from my involvement in SlutWalk. Nevermind that my name is rather unique and makes me an easier target to track down. Nevermind that the person I pissed off got huffy because I told them not to make ableist statements on my personal page or I'd ban them. Nevermind any of that Facebook, just kindly go take a long walk off a short pier and go thoroughly fuck yourselves.<br />
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It's New Year's Resolution Time!<br />
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Last year at this time was such a bleak, black hole of suck that I don't even care to follow through on my usual habit of looking up my posts around this time and comparing notes with my previous resolutions. I'm just going to go forward and onward from this much more solid and stable jumping off point.<br />
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Ok, I lied and just went back and checked out all my resolutions. But that's a good thing! What I've been able to accomplish this year are:<br />
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<li>Getting my debt under control. This past year I actually went through a debt consolidation service via Credit Canada. I no longer have any credit cards (they got shit-canned for non-payment last winter) but I am actually paying them off now and will be able to start building my credit again.</li>
<li>I've paid back most of the people I owe money to, as well. My parents are still outstanding, but we've just moved and so as soon as we have discretionary income they will be paid back in short order</li>
<li>Reading? Yeah I haven't been reading or writing, but I'm giving myself a pass because this year has been really up in the air and buggered and I've had bigger fish to fry</li>
<li>Vegan? Oy, well this is embarrassing. Not only am I not vegan, in the summer the doc said I was severely anemic and low on B12 so I've started eating some meat again because I've been too disorganized to keep up with supplements. Now that we've moved up north to a rural community with the closest grocery store a half hour drive away, I'm probably going to finally be able to kick that cheese habit since it's expensive and so far away.</li>
<li>Fostering kittens? Shit, for close to 10 months my two cats have been living with friends and family while my wife and I moved in with the in-laws. We've only just got our cats back under one roof with us, so no rush back to fostering. </li>
<li>Crafting? No. Most of our stuff has been in storage, and that includes my crafts.</li>
<li>Getting my Server+? No, and actually with the job path I'm on now, I don't know that I will try to get that this year either.</li>
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So, since that's what I <i>didn't</i> accomplish, let's see what I want to/ feasibly believe I <i>can</i> accomplish given where we are now:<br />
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<li>Finish paying off my personal debts and start building saving - This winter is going to be very tight financially, so I don't expect that to start in earnest until March. But I'm working on a couple ideas to bring in more income: I've got more piercing supplies so I can do those if called upon, I've set up an eBay and Etsy store to see if I can sell some stuff, and I'm considering setting up a local "taxi" service. In this small town there are no legit taxis, but it's winter and folks sure are sociable and like to go visit and drink. If I can learn to drive our standard Jeep better and drink near-beer when we go out, then I'm certain I can make a killing.</li>
<li>Arts and crafts - I've got my own office set up for work, so I can definitely set it up to craft as well. All I've got to do is finish unpacking to actually find my art supplies.</li>
<li>Read more - The house we've moved into already had some <i>amazing</i> books here, on top of my own collection that has been sorely neglected. I've got the space and the time, now I just need to read read read.</li>
<li>Do home renovations - through magic and a series of small miracles, we have moved into our own house. It is amazing and beautiful and really <i>really</i> needs some TLC. So this year we need to get some renos done. First on my list would be painting, but my lovely and talented wife has so far replaced a toilet and so I'm pretty impressed with her and ok with that as a starting point.</li>
<li>Work out on my own - there are no personal trainers up north here, and I put on some weight from a sedentary (albeit very well-paying) gig I had for half the year. </li>
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All in all, I'm in a really great spot personally. If I don't get any of my resolutions done, I'm still going to be in a far better spot than in 2013 or 2014. This is already shaping up to be an amazing and positive and prosperous year. </div>
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I am so excited for 2015. Bring it on.<br />
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-33357256596386482422014-11-26T10:30:00.005-05:002014-11-26T10:30:56.705-05:00How to maintain white supremacy on social media in 3 simple stepsStep 1:<br />
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Do you know anything about privilege, power structures, or institutional oppression? Yes? Good, now pretend that you don't and act hurt and aggrieved any time a group tries to organize to address specific issues. Take for example, oh say... "Black Lives Matter - TORONTO PEACEFUL PROTEST ACTION". Take everything you know about oppression and anti-black racism, and use that as a reason white people are being oppressed by this group. How dare they ask white allies to respectfully concede the space to black protestors? How dare they specifically discuss police violence and murder against black folks? This is segregation, and reverse-racism, and every other "social-justicy"-kinda sounding words you can string together. Folks who are legitimately concerned about addressing oppression may just wind up getting sucked into conversing with you for a day and a half, and those who don't know enough about trolls or white supremacy might just be fooled into taking your side.<br />
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Step 2:<br />
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Take up space. If it's an online group or comments section of a newspaper, keep posting. It doesn't matter if it's one word or a copy pasta of "How to Make Friends and Influence People". Make sure that no conversations are allowed to go on without your interference. It's much harder for folks to maintain momentum and enthusiasm when they have to spend all their time on you. Suck the air out of the room and if you have to leave, ensure you've brought in more folks to replace you. Pretend you don't know them and are just impressed by how thoughtful and right about the world they are when they, funny enough, parrot your exact talking points.<br />
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Step 3:<br />
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People are seeing through you and calling you a racist? That's racist! Report their comments that are rightfully telling you off, because there's a far greater chance Facebook will give them a suspension for defending themselves and their rights to focus on black issues than of you receiving any repercussions.<br />
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I'm posting this not to encourage trolls, but to point out that this is what they are already doing. These are a few of their tactics. You can see this happening on pages that are supposed to be dedicated to supporting the family of Mike Brown and other victims of police-sanctioned murder. It's transparent as fuck if you know what you're looking for and acknowledge that, for the most part, these people aren't ignorant or misguided. This is a concerted, organized effort of anti-black, white supremecists to take over what should be safer spaces and interfere with planning and solidarity efforts.<br />
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They will concern troll:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"But if you exclude white people, then how will we change things? We all need to work together, and I am just honestly concerned that your divisive tactics will hamper that progress."</blockquote>
They will gas light:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Police brutality is not a black issue. It's a human rights issue. <i>I've</i> been the victim of police brutality, and <i>I'm</i> white, therefore you're assigning race to an issue that it doesn't belong to."</blockquote>
They will call you racist:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"You're lumping all white people together by saying that we take up too much space. That's racist! Anybody else catch how racist that is?!"</blockquote>
They will not "see the light" if you keep talking to them. You can be calm, collected, and articulate as possible. They are not there in good faith. They are literally trying to wear people down to get them to abandon the page/ group/ organizing committee. These are their tools. Don't let them get away with it. If you are moderating a page/ site and you see this happening, I strongly recommend just to ban/ delete them. Yes, they'll like start in with "freedom of speech" arguments, but what they're doing is interfering with your freedoms to assemble.<br />
<br />
Let's get things back on track and reclaim the spaces eked out to create change.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-38097134812790014232014-11-25T00:20:00.001-05:002014-11-25T00:20:33.979-05:00 Black Lives Matter - TORONTO PEACEFUL PROTEST ACTIONI'm not an organizer of this protest, I'm just signal-boosting for all Toronto residents to have the opportunity to come out and show solidarity tomorrow for #Ferguson and all the black folks on both sides of the border who are targets of state violence and lethal anti-black racism.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18.6000003814697px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/318420711695491/">Black Lives Matter - TORONTO PEACEFUL PROTE</a></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/318420711695491/" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18.6000003814697px; text-indent: 2px; white-space: nowrap;">ST ACTION</a><br />
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SOCIAL MEDIA TIP SHEET (TEXT)</div>
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SOCIAL MEDIA MONIKERS</div>
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Facebook<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />•Toronto Event Name: Black Lives Matter: TORONTO PROTEST ACTION<br />• Toronto Event Link: <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/event.php?id=318420711695491&extragetparams=%7B%22directed_target_id%22%3A318420711695491%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/events/318420711695491/" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/events/318420711695491/</a></span></div>
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Twitter<br />• Toronto Twitter Handle: @ferguson2tdot<br />• Suggested Hashtags (Primary): <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ferguson2to?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">ferguson2TO</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ferguson?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">Ferguson</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/toronto?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">Toronto</span></a><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/mikebrown?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">MikeBrown</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/notjustferguson?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">NotJustFerguson</span></a><br />• Suggested Hashtags (Secondary): <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/justice4mikebrown?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">justice4MikeBrown</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/justice4ferguson?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">justice4Ferguson</span></a><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/arrestdarrenwilson?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">arrestdarrenwilson</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/genocidebycop?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">GenocideByCop</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/copwatch?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">CopWatch</span></a> <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/nepv?source=feed_text" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">NEPV</span></a></div>
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SAMPLE RALLY TWEETS/STATUSES</div>
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FACEBOOK STATUSES:<br />Mike Brown, a black unarmed teenager, was murdered. The state is letting his murderer go without any accountability or justice. Black people are murdered by the state in our local communities regularly and systematically. And their murderers get away with it on a regular basis. We are asking that you stand in solidarity with us.<br />We are ready to retaliate. Join us on Today Nov 25th. 6pm. Across from the US Consulate (361 University Avenue. University & Queen. Osgoode Subway Station).<br />Because Black Lives Matter.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
TWEETS:<br />No Indictment 4 murder of #MikeBrown. Darren Wilson walks free. Time for Action. US Consulate (queen & Uni) 6pm #ferguson2TO #Ferguson</div>
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No indictment 4 murder of #MikeBrown. Cop walks free 4 killing unarmed black man. Time for action: US Consulate 6pm. #ferguson2TO #Ferguson</div>
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#toronto take action for justice for #MikeBrown and other victims of racist policing. US Consulate 6pm. #ferguson2TO #Ferguson</div>
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#toronto rallies in solidarity with the protesters of #ferguson. Racial violence is crossnational. US Consulate 6pm. #ferguson2TO #Ferguson</div>
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</blockquote>
Please share widely. This isn't an issue isolated to a small town in USA. Black Lives Matter. Now let's help show we believe this.<br />
<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-69229927081095015682014-10-02T17:25:00.003-04:002014-10-02T17:25:28.067-04:00Jeez people are such whiners nowadays!It's only the second of October and I've already had it up to here ^ with folks. On Facebook there's an image of a Halloween yard decoration that was taken down because the neighbours objected to how graphic it was.<br />
<br />
I was going to share it but, enh, screw it. You can mentally fill in the blanks on what you might think crosses the line or not.<br />
<br />
Now, don't get me wrong, I love Halloween. I mean I <i>looooooooove </i>Halloween. I love getting dressed up, I love trick or treating (thank goodness for young family members and friends kids we can borrow!), and I love watching all the scary movies they start marathoning on tv. October and Halloween are legitimately my favourite time of year. <br />
<br />
But that's just the thing. <i>I</i> like it. I have my own quirks and personal preferences and things I love and hate and am pretty solidly "meh" about. If people don't share my quirks, that's not only ok, with over 7 billion people on the planet that's pretty much a given.<br />
<br />
Take my wife, for example. We've got a lot of really solid things in common that make us a great match. And then we have our differences. She's a big ol' scaredy cat. That's not an insult or me maligning her character. That's what she calls herself because she hates scary movies, haunted houses, scary <i>anything</i> and just generally hates being scared at all ever. And you know what? That's fine. Fear, disgust, and repulsion aren't emotions we can reasonably expect everyone to enjoy or numb themselves to.<br />
<br />
Well, unless you ask these people:<br />
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I find it extremely ironic that many of the folks who make such a big fuss about people disagreeing with them do so from a standpoint of <i>"</i>Gosh. People are just so <i>sensitive</i> nowadays! I am so outraged by their sensitivity that I'm going to take it as a personal insult that they aren't all Rambo and watch snuff films for kicks."<br />
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Maybe y'all aren't jaded or desensitized or too cool to be affected. Maybe y'alls are just pretentious assholes. Don't get me wrong, I've been the pretentious asshole, too, who thought it was cooler not only to "not give a shit", but to chide anyone who had the audacity to go through life feeling anything but smugness. There is hope. You can choose to not be such a douche.<br />
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-26347153188043687382014-10-01T12:34:00.002-04:002014-10-01T12:34:13.196-04:00Windows 10 previewI watched the video and like the features they're adding, so I figure I'll try it out and see what's what.<br />
<br />
The video and preview versions are available here:<br />
<br />
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/preview<br />
<br />
Wish me luck!<br />
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<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-46620097499946764162014-09-30T21:23:00.001-04:002014-09-30T21:23:19.247-04:00Is it irresponsible to be critical of safety advice?The amount of safety advice that women* are given with the goal of "not getting raped" is extensive, to say the least. It is long, and it just keeps getting longer as new products are marketed to us, and often the individual pieces of advice are conflicting.<br />
<br />
As a person who is the target of all this safety advice, how do we navigate what pieces of advice make sense in our lives? Are we allowed to decide what makes sense to us and what is relevant to our realities?<br />
<br />
On its face, that's a pretty innocuous question. Putting that question into practice by being critical of the specific safety products or advice, however, I have frequently been accused of everything from not being serious about preventing my own rape to wanting women to get raped to prop up the Feminist Industrial Complex. I wish I were exaggerating.<br />
<br />
When I'm critical of safety advice or products, it's because I am very much invested in stopping rape. I am so invested that it is not enough for me that a tip or product provides the illusion of safety; they must actually prove they are worth the time, expense, inconvenience, and potential danger they may pose for me to not only use them for myself but also recommend them to others.<br />
<br />
For example, I've been heavily critical of the <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2012/08/rapex-all-rape-is-officially-over.html">RapeAxe</a>, and <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2014/08/anti-rape-nail-polish-good-way-to.html">Undercover Colors</a> and the ways using those products themselves can pose serious health risks. Those criticisms don't even mention the current rise in ebola infections. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"But what if this tip/product/philosophy prevents <i>just one rape</i>? Isn't that enough to give these a pass, if only to save one person the heartache and trauma?"</blockquote>
That kind of statement, while often made in earnest and with good intentions, misses the point by a wide margin and is often made to shut down the conversation about the person's valid and tangible concerns. <i>Maybe</i> anti-rape products will work? Well, <i>maybe</i> crossing the street instead of staying on the south side will prevent me from getting squashed from a falling piano. <i>Maybe</i> singing karaoke off-key for a friend's birthday will result in me being offered my own reality tv show.<br />
<br />
<i>Maybes</i> aren't good enough for me. If you want me to alter and restrict my life more than I already do, then I want proof, I want field testing, and I want evidence this tip/product/philosophy does not just work in an alternate dimension populated by people from infomercials.<br />
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If you have safety products and advice that you think will help, absolutely share them. But keep your cool if people point out practical issues with them. We're allowed to think critically about the ways we alter our lives for our own safety.<br />
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<i>*Safety advice against rape is more often than not given out aimed at
women in cissupremecist binary language. When I am referring to "women
and girls" in this post, I mean all female-presenting persons who are at
the receiving end of this advice.</i><br />
damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-39629305685817305142014-09-01T20:28:00.001-04:002014-09-01T20:52:59.238-04:00Stolen nudes and the new Peeping TomsIf you don't think it's a big deal to seek out and look at nude pictures of persons that were taken or shared without their consent, I am going to try to explain in nice and calm words why this is problematic.<br />
<br />
This is objectification, where one's personhood and humanity is literally separated from their rights over their body. Whether the picture is of a celebrity or a regular person you may or may not know, it is an absolute violation of their privacy and bodily autonomy to seek out, view, and share those images.<br />
<br />
I can understand how people have a disconnect when it comes to nude
photos being shared without the subject's consent. In the popular media,
it is a common trope that "boys will be boys" and that "boys want to
see girls naked." Think of some of the classic and recent movies where
boys or men go through various measures to see young women naked without
their knowledge or consent:<br />
<ul>
<li>Police Academy - the scene where Lt. Harris catched Mahoney casually drinking a beer while watching the female recruits shower</li>
<li>Monster
Squad - the boys in elementary school spend half the movie trying to
take photos of one of the kid's sister while she's changing</li>
<li>Private
School - the three male leads dress up as women to get into an
all-girls' private school to catch the young women naked and have sex
with them (so, rapey as well)</li>
<li>Not Another Teen Movie - two of
the characters are in the airducts and stop over the girls' washroom to
watch a young woman on the toilet</li>
<li>Carrie - the entire opening
sequence is a voyeuristic wet-dream going through the girls' locker room
and hyper-sexualizing young women who we are supposed to accept as
being teenaged and under the age of 18</li>
</ul>
Those are just 5 examples that immediately come to mind (can you tell I'm into 80's movies a smidge?) There are many more examples in popular culture of this trope and free-pass to men to disregard women's rights to privacy. This is one of the major reasons we need to be critical of popular media and the messages it sends. This is one of the major reasons we have to talk about consent in all sorts of scenarios. Has seeking out, viewing, and sharing nude or sexualized pictures taken of someone without their consent come up in your Birds & the Bees talks? They definitely should.<br />
<br />
It does not matter if the person's photos were taken from a distance by paparazzi with a telephoto lens, if they were taken from a literal Peeping Tom, if they were taken while incapacitated, if they were taken by their partner, or if they were taken by themselves. It does not matter if they left their pictures in Fort Knox, in their home vault, uploaded to an offsite storage service like iCloud, in their email, on their phone, in their purse, or printed out and in their pocket. If you do not have permission to view those photos, you are disrespecting them, their body, and their rights to privacy. You do not get any free passes because "someone shared it first" or "a million other people have seen them anyways", or any other excuse. Your only free pass is if the subject of the photos gave you their explicit permission. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"If you don't want your naked pictures to be leaked, don't take any. That's not victim-blaming, it's common sense."</blockquote>
Actually, that's victim-blaming. "Common sense" is quite meaningless in this context, because you don't know what you don't know until you know it. Many times the victim is not even the one who took the photo, so the entire situation is out of their hands. Even if the person in the photos is the one who took them and decided how they would be stored, if you don't have permission, you don't have permission. It is still theft, it is still a violation of privacy, it is still an aggressive act of misogyny to seek out, view, and share these photos without this person's consent. <br />
<br />
Taking sexy photos can be a lot of fun for consenting adults. Straight up, it can be foreplay, or in the case of long-distance partners, it may be the only type of sexual "contact" they get together. Plus, in terms of lesser "evils" of sexual relationships, sending a nude selfie to your partner is 100% safe from STI's and pregnancy. There are pro's and con's with every action, and let's be honest - there can be a lot of legitimate pro's of these. <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"You never put anything on the internet without the expectation everyone can see it and access it."</blockquote>
I'd like to address the underlying assumption that everyone is internet-savvy and understand the myriad of potential security holes in literally everything you do online. Being ignorant of some risks does not mean that you deserve to be victimized, and it does not mean that you are stupid. As I've stated before, "common sense" is meaningless. Since we can flippantly tell someone to Google anything, we assume that they can always find the answers to every question in the universe. That's only helpful if they start out knowing what the question is.<br />
<br />
In terms of "everyone can see it and access it" - why do you have to part of "everyone"? What gives you a moral free-pass on this one? Since it's our culture that tells men to disrespect women's rights to consent and boundaries, how about you be part of the change and not participate in this form of degradation?<br />
<br />
Once nude photos of someone are released and being spread without their consent, you have as great a power as anyone to stop the spread and to put your foot down. If your friends are sharing them, talk to them about it and ask them why they feel this violation is acceptable. Tell them you're disgusted and disappointed. Be a part of the change in the culture that stops these criminal acts by removing the demand.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-37555324837388989252014-08-27T20:04:00.000-04:002014-08-27T20:34:49.598-04:00Anti-rape Nail Polish: A good way to prevent drug-facilitated rape, or an excellent way to ensure intestinal distress?<a href="http://www.undercovercolors.com/">Undercover Colors</a>is presently making the rounds on social media, and there is both <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisonvingiano/these-college-students-are-making-a-nail-polish-that-changes">praise </a>and <a href="http://www.danielleparadis.com/2014/08/27/theres-already-a-chip-in-the-anti-rape-nail-polish/">criticism</a> about its potential effectiveness and <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/aug/26/anti-rape-nail-polish-stop-rapists">cultural implications</a>. It's basically a nail polish that changes color in the presence of common "date rape" drugs.<br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$0:0">From a practical level, my first concern is honestly not about whether this product buys into rape myths and tropes. I absolutely support anyone in taking whatever measures they feel make sense in their lives, regardless of my reservations.</span><br data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$1:0" /><br data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$3:0" /><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">That
said, I don't believe any of those guys actually wear nail polish on
the regular and have really thought through the practicality of this. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dipped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dipped.jpg" height="162" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0"><span style="color: #666666;">Must have missed this step on my last wine-tasting tour </span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">Is it really that feasible to be dipping your fingers into your drinks? Every drink? Every time you leave it and come back to it? Am I really that big of a germaphobe that I'm the only one made queasy by that prospect? </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0">Have any of the men on that team considered how they're implemented? Has no
one thought that maybe requiring your customers to put their unsanitized fingers in their drinks a bunch of
times when out in public may raise the eyebrows of public health
officials?</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">At
a point the precautions have to take into account that people aren't
*just* spending their entire existence trying to prevent rape. They're
also trying not to infect themselves with noro-viruses. Plunging my
dirty digits into every drink I have when I'm out and touching public
door handles, tables, chairs, etc, is like playing Russian Roullette
with <a href="http://www.health.alberta.ca/health-info/norovirus.html">Norwalk</a>.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">A lot of people are excited about this product, and I honestly don't want to poo-poo their enthusiasm (Get it? Poo-poo because of a norovirus? Sorry)</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">The reality is that rape is happening right now while we wait for rape culture to be abolished, and so naturally people are eager for immediate solutions. I can absolutely empathize with their impatience and desire for quick and easy answers.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$4:0">My hope is that when people create, market, and promote these products through word-of-mouth, they'll take the time to consider the practical, mundane, every-day lives of the people who would use them. We all have a lot more going on in our lives than just preventing rape. Does your product/solution take that into consideration? Are we expected to make unreasonable accommodations in order to use this product?</span> Is the <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2012/08/rapex-all-rape-is-officially-over.html">product potentially more dangerous </a>to the user than the threat it's intended to guard against? Is the product being marketed as a <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2012/10/but-seriously-why-cant-we-just-shoot.html">cureall</a>, or a tool that can only possibly be useful in a particular set of circumstances? Are the marketers promoting rape myths in the marketing of their products, or do they understand and speak to the reality of how most rapes are committed? </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><br /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0">These are very important questions to ask the marketers of these products, and to ask yourself when promoting these products. </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><br data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$text0:0:$7:0" /></span></span>
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".g7.1:3:1:$comment667010033368489_668093706593455:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0">Fortunately, there are<a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2012/09/what-can-i-do-right-now-today-to-help.html"> some tangible ways </a>to help insulate our communities, social groups, and families from sexual violence. They may not come with snazzy packaging and marketing, but that's just the mundane, uncomfortable reality of stopping sexual violence.</span></span>damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-75523253798925801462014-07-21T17:56:00.001-04:002014-07-21T17:56:33.837-04:00And now for something completely differentI've got two Netbooks in my possession that have been keeping me afloat in terms of having access to a personal PC when I needed it. One I thought had died a miserable, sugary, drowning death at the hands of an ill-placed alcoholic beverage and a vacuum cord, and the other pathetically putters and sputters along.<br />
<br />
Now I've got new chargers, one second-hand hard drive I'm going to try to revive, and some time on my hands.<br />
<br />
What am I gonna do? I'm gonna see if I can revive the one iffy hard drive, and if I can I'm going to put Linux on both of them. Why? Because I have time on my hands.<br />
<br />
Now... for the most important question of all...<br />
<br />
What flavour of Linux? I'm not sure. I haven't played with any of them since I learned to hate SUSE in college in 2008. Any advice for a n00b?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-77800812400338529712014-07-17T01:00:00.000-04:002014-07-17T21:03:59.659-04:00This is why safety advice is not enoughBetween yesterday and today, two news items have come to my attention involving sexual assault. Today Peel Regional Police <a href="http://www.peelpolice.ca/EN/News/index.aspx?newsId=697a00be-531c-415f-8aa7-e2c98f6122d7">released information </a>on a man they arrested for a series of sexual assaults in a park area near Barbertown Road and Mississauga Road.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>Mississauga – </i></b>Investigators from the Special Victims Unit have arrested a male for several sex assaults in Mississauga. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
At
approximately 4:00 p.m. on Monday, June 30, 2014, three teenagers were
in a park area near Barbertown Road and Mississauga Road, Mississauga,
when they were accosted by an unknown male. The suspect threatened the
three girls with a weapon and sexually assaulted them. The suspect was
scared off by a citizen who was walking in the area. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
A
subsequent sexual assault occurred at approximately 9:00 p.m. on
Tuesday, July 15, 2014, in the same area. The victim was walking with
her boyfriend when they were confronted by the accused. Both victims
were threatened with a weapon and confined, and the female victim was
sexually assaulted. The victims called police and provided a detailed
description of the suspect.<b></b> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Randy BLACKWOOD</b>,
a 22 year-old resident of Mississauga, was located by police a short
time later in the area. He was arrested and charged with the following
offences:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- <b>Sexual Assault with a Weapon</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- <b>Utter Threat to Cause Death or Bodily Harm ( 2 counts)</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- <b>Forcible Confinement (5 counts)</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- <b>Sexual Interference (3 counts)</b></div>
- <b>Sexual assault (3 counts)</b> </blockquote>
That's good information for anyone living and visiting in the area, to be aware of what happened, where, by whom, and how. It can help them to protect themselves potentially in the future, and if they were assaulted and did not yet come forward, this information may give them the confidence to now do so.<br />
<br />
The release ended with some further safety advice to the public:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Investigators
are reminding the public to use caution when walking alone, avoid
isolated areas and to report any suspicious activity to police. Walk in
pairs and be cognizant of those around you. Make sure someone knows
your route and when you are expected to return home.</div>
</blockquote>
Now, I'm not pointing this out to give the police a hard time or to gather an army with torches and pitchforks, but I want to draw attention to something I think is pretty important. The police advise to "<i>use caution when walking alone, avoid isolated areas</i>" and "<i>walk in pairs</i>". These assaults all happened to folks who were with one or more people, in a public park, during daylight hours. The reason I bring this up is because I want to emphasize that this is some of the "common sense" safety advice that is given out pretty much daily. I'm sure sometimes it can help to deter a potential attacker. But it's not a guarantee of safety. The only guarantee of safety is to not be in the vicinity of someone who would attack you, and we generally don't know who or where that is.<br />
<br />
The other story is of a <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/cabbie-sought-for-sexual-attack-267118611.html">Winnipeg cab driver </a>who picked up and sexually assaulted a woman on Saturday night. Included in the story are several other accounts of people being assaulted or threatened by cab drivers.<br />
<br />
Again, use whatever <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2014/02/safety-advice-lets-be-real-and-honest.html">safety measures</a> you feel make sense for yourself. But if you're giving out blanket safety advice to folks to end all rape ever, I urge you to spend some time asking and researching whether your "common sense" advice is really as practical and foolproof as you presently think it is.<br />
<br />
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damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-52698777958842879212014-07-16T17:31:00.001-04:002014-07-16T17:31:06.703-04:00General tips for using Microsoft Windows 8.1After a busy week and a half blogging about social justice stuff, I want to cleanse my palate with some nerdy advice. <br />
<br />
In my new job role, my main task is to help consumers resolve issues with their home laptops and desktops. It's a bit different from my previous experience in an enterprise environment, but I'm really enjoying the challenge of fixing literally every kind of software issue under the sun. The only thing I miss is that all this support is over the phone, so I don't get to gut machines any more and Frankenstein them to make them work. C'est la vie.<br />
<br />
From this experience, I have a few tips on how to keep your home Windows computers running. I'm not going to go over everything there is to know ever. If you want something that in-depth, pull up a chair at<a href="http://technet.microsoft.com/"> http://technet.microsoft.com</a> and hunker down. Bring snacks.<br />
<br />
Firstly, if you have Windows XP you'll ok for now so long as you have an active antivirus installed. Microsoft stopped supporting Windows XP in April, which means that it's not sending out any more updates to patch issues they find out about. You're on your own. Some folks have had their Windows XP automatic updates disabled because they didn't like the slow-downs or interruptions, so you may very well still be working on SP2. Continue on with your bad selves.<br />
<br />
Now, if your Windows XP computer shits the bed, you're basically out of luck. All machines will one day fail. What I'd recommend is to regularly <a href="http://damsel-in-de-tech.blogspot.com/2011/12/making-your-life-easier-back-that-shit.html">back up your data </a>to an external drive, and start making your succession plans by saving up a rainy day fund for a replacement. Then just run your machine into the ground.<br />
<br />
If you have Windows Vista, you're on your own.<br />
<br />
Windows 7? You're fine.<br />
<br />
Windows 8? Upgrade to 8.1. No, seriously, do it. If only because if something goes wrong, it's easier to get to the tools to fix it.<br />
<br />
What I love about Windows 8.1 (stop laughing, there are some things I love about it) is the start button. As someone who fixes stuff, being able to right-click on the start button and have everything from Device Manager to Control Panel to Command Prompt with admin privileges right there is hella convenient. <br />
<br />
Now, what do I do with these?<br />
<br />
From Device Manager I can see if any hardware devices have notifications beside them to let me know about a driver issue. For 9/10 devices, I'll just uninstall them and upon reboot they'll reinstall themselves. Often this will fix the issue. If it doesn't, I'll look online for a more up to date driver. <br />
<br />
If I suspect I have malware, I'll open Control Panel, go to Programs and then look for stuff I didn't download or install that isn't from either Microsoft or my computer's manufacturer. If you don't know what you're looking for, check this out but don't remove anything. <br />
<br />
If you have pop-ups, just download and run <a href="http://www.malwarebytes.org/">Malwarebytes </a>free version. I'd say 99/100, Malwarebytes has gotten rid of the malicious ickies that have infested a machine and caused pop-ups, page redirects, and resource hogging. Because of how well their free version works at spot-cleaning, if you were to buy a version to do real-time scanning and protection I'd recommend them.<br />
<br />
The only time recently it didn't work, I used<a href="http://www.freedrweb.com/cureit/?lng=en"> Dr. Web Cureit</a> free. This program takes longer to download and run, which is why I don't use it as my first line of defense. They're a Russian company, so don't be concerned if you Google them and wind up on a site that's not in English. Just click on the language option in the top-right corner. If you were to pay for antivirus, they'd be my #2, since their free scans also work so well.<br />
<br />
If you get errors when trying to run Windows update, let the Troubleshooting tool in the Control Panel do the heavy lifting for you. If that doesn't work, there's a tool and some more tips <a href="http://support.microsoft.com/gp/windows-update-issues/en-gb">here.</a><br />
<br />
If your computer is acting wonky and you suspect it may be an issue with the Windows files themselves, right-click on the start button, select "Command Prompt (Admin)" and type out the following commands:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/library/hh824869.aspx">dism /online /cleanup-image /restorehealth</a><br />
<br />
When in doubt, with any computer issues, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/google-privacy-issues/">Google </a>is your friend. Well, I mean, searching the internet for IT forums and advice is your friend. <br />
<br />
I know this isn't the most exhaustive list, but it comes up often enough that I figured it would be handy to write it down. Good luck, intrepid home computer-users, and gob speed.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-75885186097122387312014-07-11T18:11:00.001-04:002014-07-20T21:48:42.285-04:00SWTO2014 Countdown: What to wear, what to wear?Tomorrow is the big day! <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/256189414569060/">SWTO2014: Who are you calling a slut?</a>!<br />
<br />
The question that comes up quite often from participants is "What should I wear?"<br />
<br />
My go-to, copy & paste response is this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="_38 direction_ltr">
<span class="null">SlutWalk does not
require its participants to adhere to a certain dresscode in order to
participate in our marches or events because we don't just support
survivors who dress a certain way. We support office workers, we support
fast-food workers, we support unemployed folks, we support
independently wealthy folks who don't have to work, we support retired
folks, we support sex workers, we support undocumented immigrants, we
support trans*folk, we support upper-middle-class, white, heterosexual
males.<br />
<br />
We will not tell our participants to dress in business
attire so as not to look like "sluts", because we support them even if
someone deems them to look like "sluts". We will not tell our
participants they have to dress like "sluts", because we know that
people are slut-shamed and victim-blamed in every manner of clothing,
and because we want participants to feel comfortable and empowered in
whatever way they deem fit.<br />
<br />
We support survivors of all ages,
shapes, sizes, colours, ethnicities, gender-expressions, citizenship
status, religions, etc., because we know that sexual violence permeates
all of these areas and anyone can be a survivor and deserves to be free
from victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and further violence.</span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
Now that we've got that information out of the way, what should *I* wear? The first year I wore a bridal gown and my wife wore a snazzy suit, but that march was held in the spring and was much cooler. In 2012, I wore knee-length shorts and a SlutWalk Toronto organizer t-shirt. I'm not sure where that t-shirt is now, though (we've moved too many times). I won't be strutting my stuff in a bikini or something similarly petite because my skin is so fair I'm liable to burst into flames.<br />
<br />
This is a tough decision, y'all.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u>UPDATE</u>:</div>
<br />
Solution: Batgirl. <br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglkR4RpHZSUoM2Q20njuCr6H2t1sdaaDnq8UwwIf3bTY4dszRyr2KZwg9YyVyAICr7BAOZN4VsL-D28Uqib1ejbUuoj5hWv5O17mAEhO8JwPr3PCDZQiNuQAizlKUuAu-jaFYRx8urETc/s1600/10370902_10152213609502409_6388971543052522413_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglkR4RpHZSUoM2Q20njuCr6H2t1sdaaDnq8UwwIf3bTY4dszRyr2KZwg9YyVyAICr7BAOZN4VsL-D28Uqib1ejbUuoj5hWv5O17mAEhO8JwPr3PCDZQiNuQAizlKUuAu-jaFYRx8urETc/s1600/10370902_10152213609502409_6388971543052522413_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-44427706282937599792014-07-10T22:23:00.001-04:002014-07-10T22:24:49.618-04:00SWTO2014 Countdown: Buttons, stickers, and magnets. Oh my!Two more sleeps until <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/256189414569060/">SWTO2014: Who are you calling a slut?</a>!<br />
<br />
We ran short on time and budget this year to get t-shirts made for the parade, and so we've been making up for it by rolling up our sleeves and making hundreds of buttons, stickers, and magnets!<br />
<br />
Heather Jarvis posted her lovely and oh-so artsy picture of her progress with the buttons so far:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsB8HCKCxo9PW8J_oNr5dmyKFSraJ6Y-HG2p33hBaeXrNiamPacmYnKC0CYKJd_Yz8rprTum18VwOV_xqVKwuuBQ7Dh4JxaDYb7yrngQH_deXmL5kQDQMAwyksC2hCdQc-c7gOi_p0VGs/s1600/10424259_953005251382956_4782707391880390965_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsB8HCKCxo9PW8J_oNr5dmyKFSraJ6Y-HG2p33hBaeXrNiamPacmYnKC0CYKJd_Yz8rprTum18VwOV_xqVKwuuBQ7Dh4JxaDYb7yrngQH_deXmL5kQDQMAwyksC2hCdQc-c7gOi_p0VGs/s1600/10424259_953005251382956_4782707391880390965_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I don't have snazzy pictures of the finished product, but I do have lots of images to give y'all an idea of what's to come:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUbA981h0marBdrsl3dngTVabEBFt92Ks1kJyEKDr2J6Y33QZ9S3yHilHV-hII1kM1fMLqEwieVg3QGrVDeDb9qvUTs2lERhWJQLw73tbEAjnTAsxwwrrnwLkExwX6HhGc8vNz0iCI4VA/s1600/SWTO2014-fuckvictimblaming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUbA981h0marBdrsl3dngTVabEBFt92Ks1kJyEKDr2J6Y33QZ9S3yHilHV-hII1kM1fMLqEwieVg3QGrVDeDb9qvUTs2lERhWJQLw73tbEAjnTAsxwwrrnwLkExwX6HhGc8vNz0iCI4VA/s1600/SWTO2014-fuckvictimblaming.jpg" height="320" width="312" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGusKhvEdlUlK8SUH5pm2OyZ0x_4KZwi3lhYJKx2UYZQc7XIsWipxnnmg_jndeQDb6Y72V2lQ8kW3kAdNpccROWEdh2LQD-ttc32y0vqkV6W8FJ23RAMXqnk7UcP4XPZCUfJ5Fdc_w9A/s1600/SWTO2014-allgendersconsent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGusKhvEdlUlK8SUH5pm2OyZ0x_4KZwi3lhYJKx2UYZQc7XIsWipxnnmg_jndeQDb6Y72V2lQ8kW3kAdNpccROWEdh2LQD-ttc32y0vqkV6W8FJ23RAMXqnk7UcP4XPZCUfJ5Fdc_w9A/s1600/SWTO2014-allgendersconsent.jpg" height="320" width="276" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUwYtbTsvn5fGuL6iSeaGqzo9p6pk88ZmoyfvMNHIgfN0ZzV1cEn1o4CkBb5AIs9aZ6iSZVc8cIDjq-5PF_mMJCbF1r-cov9n1T5YavvrWXcRLT1SpRNBdYZ5XYHjCX72IjdkHzyCD0k/s1600/SWTO2014-clothesnotconsent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvUwYtbTsvn5fGuL6iSeaGqzo9p6pk88ZmoyfvMNHIgfN0ZzV1cEn1o4CkBb5AIs9aZ6iSZVc8cIDjq-5PF_mMJCbF1r-cov9n1T5YavvrWXcRLT1SpRNBdYZ5XYHjCX72IjdkHzyCD0k/s1600/SWTO2014-clothesnotconsent.jpg" height="312" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-dQmPoK-FRfyiV_C_L1lZBLNcQjPtAnzQkLx0dNc47QtyoXunpmpJUuVrhyItUgnPmZXvaY8K-t1zS6spmy6DiaHU7n4T_8kHdwKdiSAT8q4FPSXwSIbawT7_XC9EpinV_dShuqTpVo8/s1600/SWTO2014-whoyoucallingslut.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-dQmPoK-FRfyiV_C_L1lZBLNcQjPtAnzQkLx0dNc47QtyoXunpmpJUuVrhyItUgnPmZXvaY8K-t1zS6spmy6DiaHU7n4T_8kHdwKdiSAT8q4FPSXwSIbawT7_XC9EpinV_dShuqTpVo8/s1600/SWTO2014-whoyoucallingslut.jpg" height="320" width="296" /></a></div>
<br />
These are all to help us to recoup the costs of the march, which are all paid out of pocket by SlutWalk Toronto volunteers. Our expenses include ASL, honorariums for speakers, our emcee, and water for our volunteers the day of the march.<br />
<br />
If you would like to help us cover our costs, you can purchase some of the swag at the march (by a suggested donation of $1.00 each), or you can help sponsor us through <a href="http://tilt.tc/3agE">Crowdtilt</a>.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-65929464989498873002014-07-09T15:39:00.002-04:002014-07-09T21:55:44.041-04:00SWTO2014 Countdown: Speaker's List has been released!With 3 days left until <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/256189414569060/">SWTO2014: Who are you calling a slut?, </a>do you need any more reasons to attend? No? Awesome, but I'm going to share our amazing<a href="http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/swto2014-sat-july-12-speakers-announced"> speaker's list </a>with y'all anyways!<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<u>Monica Forrester </u><br />
<br />
Recently honored at world pride 2014, for her tireless work in the LGBTTQ2IA community. Monica Forrester is a 2-spirit, black, queer, Trans-femme, radical, sexworker, and activist. She is currently the Coordinator at Maggieʼs Toronto – Sexwork Action Project.<br />
<br />
Monica rallies for the rights of all sex-workers, marginalized women, and trans* people.<br />
<br />
<u>Blu Waters</u><br />
<br />
Laureen ( Blu) Waters; Istchii Nikamoon- Earth Song<br />
Cree/Métis / Micmac-Wolf Clan, member of the Metis nation of Ontario<br />
Blu’s family is from Big River Saskatchewan, Star Blanket Reserve<br />
<br />
And Braʼdor Lake, Cape Breton Nova Scotia.<br />
<br />
Currently working at York University as a elder on campus Providing Traditional teachings and One on One Counseling.<br />
Blu grew up with her grandmother and learned about traditional medicines performing extractions, healings, and care of the sick and teachings<br />
She was adopted by a white family, at 10, and grew up and lived in Parkdale.<br />
Blu spent many years in High Park, hunting geese, rabbits, ducks, muskrat, harvesting medicine plants and maintaining her connection to Mother Earth.<br />
She has traveled to Nova Scotia to learn from Herbal medicine people and the Queen Charlotte Island in British Columbia where her brother is a Shaman. And medicine man.<br />
She studied landscaping and Horticulture for four years and has studied herbal medicine.<br />
Blu was also the national caucus Representative for the Toronto urban aboriginal strategy for 5 years working with the community of Toronto and the Government<br />
She also is a graduate of DeVry Institute of Technology receiving her business software, micro computer architecture, and A+ Certification.<br />
Bluʼs gifts include,<br />
House cleansing,Giving traditional spirit names,Hand drumming,Song writer<br />
Creative writings. Full moon conductor, Traditional teachings<br />
She has been a traditional counselor for most of life.<br />
She is a mother of 3 and a grandmother, of 3 and a Sun dancer and a pipe carrier<br />
<br />
<u>Jeff Perera- White Ribbon Campaign </u><br />
<br />
Jeff is a Community Engagement Manager for White Ribbon, the worldʼs largest movement of men working towards re-imagining masculinity and inspiring men, young men, boys and male- identified people to help end gender-based violence. Heading up the annual What Makes A Man White Ribbon conference and having delivered two TEDx talks, Jeff speaks to people of all walks of life about embracing the impact we make, and difference we can make.<br />
<br />
<u>Akio Maroon </u><br />
<br />
Akio Maroon is a Mother, Occupational Health and Safety Consultant, Educator, Nurse, Social Justice Organizer, Advocator and Fundraiser for sex workers rights and HIV/AIDS support services. Akio is the founder of GRIND Toronto – a quarterly event celebrating sex positivity, the joys of safe/r consensual sex, in a LGBTQ2I space for BIPOC* (Black, Indigenous and People of Color)<br />
<br />
<u>Flo Jo </u><br />
<br />
Flo is a sex worker and active drug user. She is self described as very sexy, hot, and delicious. Even at 52, she is all that!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">****************^^^Picture ban on this speaker. NO PHOTOS!</span></b><br />
<br />
<u>Kira Andry</u><br />
<br />
A longtime supporter of the SlutWalk movement, and aided in the organization of SlutWalk 2014.<br />
<br />
Kira Andry is an agender, queer, mixed, activist and student. As a proud and out non- binary trans* person, they go by gender-neutral pronouns (they/them/their).<br />
<br />
They are passionate about body positivity, consent, education, reproductive healthcare/ choice, sex worker rights, BDSM awareness, trans* visibility, and social justice.<br />
<br />
They are currently the organizer of HAVEN Toronto, and are heavily involved with many other community initiatives.<br />
<br />
Kira aims to shed light on the injustices that currently exist for trans* survivors within the legal system, as well as the lack of basic civil rights.<br />
<br />
Their main goal is to unify the community, fight for justice and ultimately help create a more supportive and survivable world for fellow victims.<br />
<br />
<u>Catherine McCormick- SlutWalk MC</u><br />
<br />
Catherine McCormick is a queer writer, comedian and unrepentant feminist, intent on smashing the patriarchy apart, one pussy joke at a time. She also hosts and produces the popular podcast Box Social as well as the groundbreaking biweekly LGBTQ+ comedy show Queer As Fuck.<br />
<br />
Catherine’s Tumblr: <a href="http://mccormcorp.tumblr.com/catherine">http://mccormcorp.tumblr.com/catherine </a></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Find her on Twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/McCormCorp">twitter.com/McCormCorp</a></blockquote>
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I am so excited for the march and to hear these incredible community members speak. Please join us and make some noise against victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and rape culture!damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-83820043510896787752014-07-08T23:00:00.003-04:002014-07-08T23:02:20.251-04:00SWTO2014 Countdown: I'm tired4 more sleeps until <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/256189414569060/">SWTO2014: Who are you calling a slut?</a><br />
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Quick post, because I'm tired.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uai7M4RpoLU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Let's take a breather for some self-care and some levity.<br />
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<br />damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-764974377060271432.post-14580031977306309032014-07-07T23:35:00.003-04:002014-07-07T23:37:43.401-04:00SWTO2014 Countdown: Taking a walk down memory lane through YouTube videos<div style="text-align: center;">
This Saturday, in just 5 days, we've got <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/256189414569060/">SWTO2014: Who are you calling a slut?</a></div>
<br />
I decided to check out Youtube for news videos from the previous SlutWalk Toronto protests. It was also a great trip down memory lane, a reminder of the messaging we still need to work on, and opportunity to check out my changing hairstyles and consider, "Hmmm. Maybe I will go back to that short, bleached-blonde look." <br />
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I am definitely looking forward to the new speakers, the new participants, the new signs, and the new energy this upcoming weekend. We've got a long way to go, but we're proud of how far we've come.damsel.in.de.techhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08921309674292153182noreply@blogger.com0